Dec 14, 2011

Saints Row: The Third Review

One of the raunchiest dirtiest most disgusting games you will ever play. And you'll love every single second.
The city of Steelport. A sparkling metropolis full of life, people, happiness and what am I talking about? This is Steelport not Mayberry. This town's got more drugs, guns, sex, money and power than one man could possibly wamt. Well there is one guy who could want it all and that guy is you: The leader of the Third Street Saints. Where you were once just a street gang in stelwater, you're now a house hold name with your own soda, clothing line, and soon to be, your own movie. The world is yours.

When pulling a bank heist in the city, in which you not only take people's money but also sign autographs and take photos, you are set up and captured. After designing your character at that point, your taken to see the leader of The Syndicate, a large organization to which all gangs pay tribute, who decide that they want 66% of your profits. Of course you say "F*** that" and escape only to find that The Syndicate has striped you of all your funds. Thus begins your mad quest to take down the Syndicate and rebuild your glorious empire of all things nefarious from the ground up.

I'll go ahead and say it. Yes, Saints Row is a lot like GTA as far as gameplay goes but that's about as far as the similarities go. The whole point of Saints Row is just to enjoy the acid educed ride. GTA makes sense and falls within the boundaries of reality. By the time you finish Saints Row you'll have fallen out of two planes, blown up an Aircraft Carrier, been turned into a toilet, sold as a sex slave and tons of other stuff that just begs the age old question "WTF?!"

One thing that really stands out to me is the characters of this game. All the characters are varied and different and have their own personalities. You have Pierce, who you first see in a commercial for a Saints soda doing absolutely ridiculous kung fu and by the end of the game he's playing chess with Olaf, the 800 pound super-man who is just as smart as your ex-FBI tech savvy agent. Your character is also very unique he really does care about his friends and you get to choose his/her personality/voice. (Mine had a British/Australian accent and just as we were all about to die he confessed that he called Chips, Fries).
Like I said earlier the gameplay is like GTA, you'll drive around the city going from quest to quest and then use guns to solve all your problems. However there are tons of side quests throughout the city, which can include running into traffic, causing as much damage to the city as possible, or (if your in the mood) streaking! You can also buy stores and real estate to increase your hourly income which you can use to upgrade your guns, your homies or yourself through Respect. 
Respect is the equivalent to experience in Saints Row and you get it from every single action you make, from driving on the wrong side of the road, to killing people, to completing quests to...well...streaking, everything you do gives you Respect. You have a ton of abilities in your Respect menu that you can use money to get or upgrade, they can be reducing your damage to letting you hold more ammo.

Saints Row is not for the faint of heart. The characters drop enough F-bombs to make Scarface blush and half naked hoes are about as common as sidewalks in the city. If you feel bad about morale issuse don't buy this game but if you just want to ride around in a space suit killing zombies for Burt Reynolds with a giant sex toy, then yes, this a game you want.

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