Oct 22, 2011

The Three Musketters

Just because it's not what you expected doesn't mean it's bad.

Let it be know that if you are interested in this movie because you saw the original, read the book or anything like that and you want to see a classic remake of an old movie you love, stop reading and do not go see this movie. It is not a remake, but is rather a spin-off if you will, taking characters and lore we love and giving them a new, fresh, steam punkish design. That said, The Three Musketeers, for what it was, was a good enjoyable movie.

The story line follows: the three musketeers are in their prime, our main characters: Athos, Pathos, Aramis and their lady friend, who’s name actually is Milady, are on assignment in Venice, Italy, stealing plans from the vault of, none other than, Leonardo de Vinci. When something goes wrong that I won’t mention because I don’t want to be spoilery, the three musketeers are defeated and their nemesis Lord Buckingham steals the plans for a airship and gets away. One year later, a young cocky boy by the name of D’Artagnan leaves his small country home to go to Paris and join up with the musketeers. It takes about an hour for the musketeers to actually get an assignment and go off and do something, but eventually they must travel to London to steal back a necklace to prevent war between England and France.

First, let me say what I enjoyed about the three musketeers. It had good action, nice sword fights, airship battles and some Mission Impossible type stealth infiltration stuff. The acting was great, Orlando bloom who plays Lord Buckingham gained a great deal of respect in my mind for his job as a villain. I remember one scene where the he’s talking to the king of France and just orally bashes the king with as much suave as James Bond and the effects were good all round.

What you will read next is a list of complaints about the movie. They do nothing to take away from it, they're just weird, little, annoying things that stick out. First, in one of the early sword fights D’Artagnan beats a guy. Frustrated and deciding that he’s had enough the guy breaks his sword over his knee like a twig. Why would you that? How could you do that? In the airship battle the whole time you’ll be asking yourself “why don’t they just shoot the huge unarmored balloon on top and send the ship crashing to the ground.” In one scene where the necklace gets stolen the necklace is hidden in a secret room, which I can understand, those castles had hidden rooms a lot of times, but none of them were guarded by RAZOR WIRES. One scene, the musketeers use an airship to basically nuke a room. They shoot cannons, bombs and a flamethrower through a window. After the ship is gone everyone proceeds to start to stand back up. I find it hard to believe that anyone in that room survived.

The question is “should I go see this movie”? If you’re looking for a fun action movie with explosions and cool stuff like that I would. I enjoyed the movie and all the little things that don’t make sense are more likely to be fun topics to laugh about instead of terrible movie killers. If you want a modern retelling of a classic tale why are you still reading this?


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